Some things you should know about my two year old daughter

I love reading lists and I love writing lists.  This one is about my two and a half year old daughter and what I think everyone should know about her now because in one way or another, you will know about her when she’s older.

  1. She might be one of the funniest people I know … and she knows it.
  2. A male pediatrician once said “She’s a bit dramatic” right before I grabbed a thumb depressor and stuck it up his nose.  Unfortunately, he knew exactly what he was talking about.
  3. She poses for every photo in a way that makes me out to be the creepiest and most drill-sergeanty stage mom on the planet.
  4. She likes to have her brother check to see if her diaper is “dirty” by sticking her bum in his face and saying “mell.”
  5. Her speech is delayed and she’s in early intervention.  I’m not sure what it’s delayed from, but I do know that she knows everything.  Way more than I do.
  6. She doesn’t like to sleep … EV-ER (following are some of the ways in which she wakes).
  7. When she is sleeping, she might bolt awake, flailing arms and legs if a feather were to gently glide from the ceiling to the floor and lay gently on the carpet.
  8. She awakes in terror no less than 10 times per night, screaming “MOMMY!”
  9. As soon as her eyes open in the morning, she needs to get out of bed and go                 downstairs.
  10. She talks in her sleep.
  11. She likes to sleep with her face on mine, all – night – long and yep, for naps too.
  12. She is having a sleep-study done ASAP.
  13. She hits and yells and accuses.  She’s ready for a commitment.
  14. She drinks too much … water … only water.  NOTHING else.
  15. When I try to take a picture or video of anyone other than her, she jumps into view, screaming “TAH DAH!” or some such exclamation, standing so close to the camera that anything beyond her is completely out of view.  She’s a genius.
  16. She’s just started saying “I love … ” and when she says “I love Mommy, I love brulla (brother) and I love Daddy” my cold heart melts and all of my fears about what a nightmare she will be as a teenager disappear, for about 17 seconds.
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